Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize