also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We need to rekindle our bromance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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