Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Will exercising make me less horny?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
