its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
