No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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