In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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