I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish life had little blips of pornography
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Pants are for mortals
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I smell like Dick and happiness
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
