Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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