just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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