Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
