I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
