Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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