another moral hangover. fuck.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
