omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
