Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
