There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
bring money and cleavage
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
