So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
