Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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