I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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