Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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