Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
