Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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