Screwed.edu
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
tell me about the fingering
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