when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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