so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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