I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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