the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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