This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
