A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
