; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
