I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
