ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
