"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
