yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
