i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
