Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
