Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
