the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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