No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So squirting runs in the family.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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