I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
