Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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