Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The power of my boobs compel you
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