they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
