i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
