Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
