Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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