Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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