tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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