does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
