woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
