Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
