Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You are the jesus of drinking
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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