I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
