kristin has been a bad kristin
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All the doctor said was why
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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