I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
