I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
