"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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