I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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