Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the night ended with taco bell and tears
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
