someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
