I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
